woot, you make me laugh

Zach just sounded the alarm. Yep, there’s a woot-off going on. Even though we won’t be buying it, their decription for the video baby monitor currently up for grabs made me laugh so hard I just had to share it:

Preparing your baby for the future isn’t all sunshine, jetpacks, and star-ponies, you know.

We spend so much time teaching our children to reach for their dreams, don’t we? But what will happen to them if those dreams are taken from them by a cold gray world ruled by Corporate Lords that hopes to squelch any inkling of free will in order to produce a more efficient slave class that will never rise up against them? You’ll have a lot to answer for down at Interrogation Unit 114 when he or she tries to form some sort of Resistance, that’s for sure.

Why not get your child used to the idea of ever present overseers watching their every move with this handy Motorola Digital Video Baby Monitor? Like our future overlords, you’ll be able to watch and listen as your child sleeps thanks to the night vision camera with 8 high-intensity infrared LEDs. Listen for any hint of dissent with the built-in high sensitivity microphone or pacify any unruly behavior with one of 5 lullabies. And with 2-way communication, you’ll not only be able to soothe your baby with the sound of your own voice, but also feed him a constant stream of propaganda like “SLEEP NOW FOR A STRONG TOMORROW” and “BUTT ERUPTIONS MUST BE REPORTED TO LOCAL AUTHORITIES IMMEDIATELY”.

Remember, getting your baby used to dystopia today means they won’t be sterilized and sent to the prison mines tomorrow. One night, as they fall asleep in their designated living chamber under the glowing eyes of their masters, they’ll thank you.

Funny, funny stuff. Ok, that’s all. More normal posts (like an explantion of where in the world we’ve been) soon to come.

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4 thoughts on “woot, you make me laugh

    • Haha, I guess I should have clarified that! No, we’re not shopping for baby monitors, Woot just sells all kinds of random things. But if we were, it looks like it was a good deal!
      Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving! I know Christmastime is pretty crazy busy, but hopefully we can get together soon. Love you!

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